By: Andrew Seaman
Senior Managing Editor for Jobs & Career Development at LinkedIn News
Shrinking violet was never a term that applied to me. I announced my high school's basketball games. My area of expertise in the Future Business Leaders of America was impromptu speaking. My college courses focused on broadcasting. I now have my podcast. Essentially, if there's a microphone nearby, chances are you'll find me in front of it.
Many people are not as comfortable in front of an audience. The fear of speaking for some even extends into the workplace, including spontaneous interactions with managers, discussions during meetings, and job interviews. Struggling in those situations can create a substantial barrier in a person's job search and career.
Matt Abrahams, who is a lecturer at the Stanford Graduate School of Business, is passionate about helping people see speaking as an opportunity instead of an obstacle. He is the author of Think Faster, Talk Smarter: How to Speak Successfully When You're Put on the Spot, and the host of the Think Fast, Talk Smart podcast.
The methodology he outlines in the book is a result of the challenges his students faced when they were randomly called on in classes to answer questions. "Many of our students — some of the best and brightest young business minds in the world — really struggled with that," he said.
Abrahams studied various domains and fields to come up with a methodology to help people sell their ideas and themselves while being confident in the moment. The goal is to help people manage the pressure when they're giving feedback, making small talk, or answering questions — say, in a job interview.
Tackling Anxiety on Both Fronts
If you're not comfortable speaking in a situation, you'll likely first feel the anxiety. "Research suggests that upwards of 85 percent of us feel nervous in high-stakes situations like an interview," said Abrahams. "Quite frankly, I think the other 15 percent are lying."
Among the tactics, he suggests is planning to be spontaneous, like a jazz singer. They practice and prepare to play an impromptu set.
"When you have the symptoms — the shakiness, the sweating, the dry mouth — the single best thing you can do is to take a deep belly breath," he said.
You can also try to reduce your anxiety by addressing the root cause through changing the context of the interaction, Abrahams said. "When you're interviewing, the company or the person you're interviewing with has a need and they've chosen to interview you because they believe you can bring value. When you remind yourself of that, that can reduce a lot of those symptoms because it's not about you being judged, it's about you, helping them solve a problem."
One of the benefits of tackling anxiety is that it can resolve a lot of the issues people are most worried about when they're speaking, such as their pace, their attentiveness, and more.
Learning to Listen
A good speaker is usually a good listener because they must balance both. Abrahams says there are three steps to juggle both during a conversation: pace, space, and grace. He attributes these steps to his Stanford colleague Collins Dobbs.
"You have to slow things down," said Abrahams. "A lot of us move very quickly when we're nervous or we just want to get through it. If we slow down, we can pay better attention and really look for that bottom line."
When it comes to space, he said that it's about mentally permitting yourself to focus on the other person's message. Then, listening to your intuition is an example of grace. For instance, a person should listen to their gut if they think it's a good time to use a pre-planned example.
Buying Time
People sometimes need more time to think about an answer or collect their thoughts. Abrahams said an easy method to do this is by asking a follow-up question or repeating something you just said. The tactic is one that he employs often in his classes when he needs a moment to think of what comes next.
"If you blank out or you need a little bit more time, simply paraphrase or repeat something you just said. It gives you that opportunity to collect your thoughts," he said.
Another tactic is to be comfortable with pauses. While they may seem long in your head, people listening to you rarely have the same perception. It allows everyone time to process information.
"We're not used to or comfortable with silence, but just giving a little bit of that is helpful to you and the person you're speaking with."
Implementing these pieces of advice is easier said than done (pun intended), but they work. While I'm relatively comfortable in front of a microphone, it does not mean I'm at ease or always happy with my performance. Many of these pieces of advice have helped me over the years, but I continuously need to remind myself of them — especially including pauses and managing my pace.
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